You’ve just introduced students to the idea of subtraction
with regrouping. You’ve put the students
into small groups to work together to solve 5 problems. Aaron has contorted himself around his chair
and appears to be playing with something – whatever it is, he is not
interacting with his group. He spots you
looking at him and he immediately asks if he can sharpen his pencils. You gently say, “No, Aaron. It is time to work with your group on the
regrouping problems.” Aaron pouts and
crosses his arms in a huff. Inwardly,
you sigh. You’ve seen this behavior over
and over again.
One possible explanation for Aaron’s behavior is that he is
We often think of perfectionists as supremely confident individuals to whom most things seem to come easily. We think of perfectionism as ultimately leading to success. The truth is these stereotypes are rarely, if ever, true.
Perfectionists are often anxious and fearful. They fear being seen as a failure. These fears can manifest themselves in the
classroom in many ways.
Doesn’t take risks in learning This is the student to always seems to keep to the easier “stuff”. He will choose books below his instructional reading level. She will copy others’ creative or open-ended answers for fear of having a product or answer that is different from others.
Avoids tasks, especially challenging new work This is the student who seems to ask to use the bathroom whenever he is asked to do something new in a subject. She regularly starts a different task or continues with a previous task instead of what she was asked to do.
Gives up easily This is the student who declares, “This is stupid” and gives up. She huffs and pouts and becomes stubborn.
Is exceptionally slow when working This is the student who draws each letter in a sentence in slow motion. She seems to take forever to get anything done.
Has a meltdown when mistakes are pointed out or when s/he makes a mistake This is the student who has us tiptoeing around telling him about what he got wrong because we are afraid he will throw a temper tantrum, or she will start shouting and overturning desks.
Uses diversionary tactics This is the student who tried to get you and the class off-task or off topic. She will ask questions that have nothing to do with the subject at hand. He knows what can get the teacher off on a different subject, telling stories, or reminiscing about something else. When he is successful, the lesson stalls and suddenly it is the end of the class period or it is time for a “special”.
Procrastinates The student avoids getting started on an assignment or project, or simply doesn’t hand something in. She figures that if she doesn’t get started she won’t be up against the possibility of failure. If he never handed anything in, he can say, “I could have done great on that, but it just wasn’t worth my time.”
Many students are often masters at hiding their perfectionism. We think he can’t possibly be a perfectionist because he doesn’t dress or groom himself well, his desk or locker or backpack is a disaster area, his handwriting is sloppy, or he loses things with alarming regularity. It fits with the stereotypes we have about perfectionists when we think a student cannot be a perfectionist because she is not “perfect” in every area of her life. Yet perfectionists often seek “perfection” in only one or a few aspects of his/her life
How can you spot a perfectionist?
Look for the behaviors above and watch for
patterns in behavior. Being slow at
completing an assignment once can be attributed to having a bad day. Twice might be a coincidence, but three times
can be a pattern.
Examine your own stereotypes about
Think about why a student might demonstrate a
particular behavior in that particular time and in that particular place. What is she attempting to get or avoid with
the behavior. Don’t fall into the trap
of thinking “she just wants attention”.
Attention-getting behaviors quite often are far more complex than a simple
bid for attention. We have to ask
ourselves why he wants that kind of attention at that particular moment.
What can I do if I think one or more of my students are
Model making mistakes When I first started teaching, I would be horrified if I made a mistake when students could see it. I came to realize that often children do not have particularly good role models for making mistakes. They may have adults in their lives who do not ever seem to make mistakes, or who use any or all of the coping strategies listed above. It can be empowering for students to see an adult make mistakes without the world coming to an end.
Model how to recover from making mistakes. Showing students that you can laugh at your mistakes or that you can learn from them is a valuable lesson for them. I used to tell students to carefully watch what I was writing on the board and to try to catch me in making a spelling mistake. It provided an opportunity to apply phonics skills and kept students engaged, even if they were only engaged in seeing if I goofed. When I student caught me in a spelling error, I would ask the student to spell the word for me while I corrected my mistake on the board. Then I’d write his name on the board with a tally mark after it. At the end of the lesson, or the day, or the week (it depended on the age of the students), I would ask everyone who caught me in a mistake to take a bow while the class gave them a round of applause.
Demonstrate thinking about how to learn from mistakes. Pretending to make a mistake when doing that subtraction with regrouping problem on the board, and thinking aloud about how to both recognize the mistake and how to learn from it helps students understand the process. Try marking papers with the number correct over the number possible on the page. For example, if there were 12 possible answers on an assignment and the student got 3 wrong, write 9/12 as the score rather than a percentage or a letter. This puts the focus on what the student did right and not on what s/he did wrong. Allow students to discuss with other students where they went wrong. You can try putting them into small groups based on what they got wrong (Everyone who got sidetracked with problem 11 meet here) or in mixed groups to review each part of an assignment. You can even have a discussion on what may have happened on a particular part of an assignment. For example, “I noticed that about half the class had difficulty with ___. Who will share with the class their strategy that helped them figure out what to do instead?” This latter can only happen in a class where students have become comfortable with making and learning from errors.
Anticipate common errors and show students how to avoid those. Teachers can anticipate the ways that students will get new concepts wrong. With the subtraction with regrouping example, we can predict that students will make these common errors. If we can anticipate that someone will likely make these mistakes we can incorporate that into our lesson. For example, say, “A lot of times people get mixed up about how exactly to subtract with regrouping. I’m going to write some mixed up problems on the board and I want you to try to figure out where I went wrong. Now don’t get tricked!”
Don’t get tricked vs. don’t make a mistake Mistakes are scary to many students, but avoiding getting tricked is a game. When a teacher frames “mistakes” as trying to avoid getting tricked, it casts the possible mistake in the light of a puzzle. Children who might react negatively to making a mistake often see puzzles as fun to do, and delight in outwitting the task or teacher.
Try to set aside our own perfectionist tendencies. Teachers are no different from other human beings. There are many of us who are perfectionists, who fear making mistakes, and who see our own fallibility as something shameful. We can convey those beliefs to students. If we are more comfortable with making mistakes, we can convey that attitude as well.
We often do not think of THAT student as a perfectionist yet that exact trait may be what makes THAT student do THAT. We can look for the signs of perfectionism and create a class culture that helps students cope with being imperfect and learning from our imperfections.
What went wrong with those subtraction problems?
61 – 17 = 56: The
student subtracted the 1 from the 7, inverting the ones column.
62 – 17 = 58: The
student added the ones column.
62 – 17 =
54: The student regrouped, subtracting 7
from 11, but did not write down the regrouping in the 10s column so he
subtracted 10 from 60 instead of 10 from 50.
62 – 17 = 52:
The student made the 1 a 10 and subtracted 7.
62 – 17 = 1:
The student added 6+1 to get 7, and 1+7 to get 8. She then subtracted the smaller number (7)
from the larger number (8) to get 1.
Depression in children is tricky to diagnose. Children who are depressed do not always have
the same symptoms as adults.
The list of possible symptoms is long. Here I am going to look at those we are most
likely to see at school.
Grouchy, crabby, or prickly and prone to anger Some children act out when they are depressed. They take offense at the littlest thing. They grump and complain through the day, refusing to do this or that or becoming angry and shouting or saying something offensive.
Verbal outbursts or crying The irritability can lead to children to talk back, blurt out, or even cry. Often these behaviors seem to come out of the blue and finding the antecedent is difficult.
Short Attention Span Almost all children distract easily and children do not have the
attention span of an adult. One rule of
thumb is that children usually have an attention span of their age in
minutes. That is, a five year old would
have about a five minute ability to focus, a ten year old would have ten
minutes, etc. Children of any age must
practice stamina to stick with an activity.
A depressed child may have an even shorter attention span, or an uneven
one where s/he can be focused for X minutes today but only half that tomorrow.
Social Withdrawal A depressed child may pull away from his/her usual friends. S/he way stand on the sidelines during recess
when s/he used to be actively engaged in kickball or swinging from the monkey
bars. When working in small groups, s/he
may be quiet, apparently day-dreaming instead of joining in.
Rejection A depressed child may seem to over-react when s/he feels rejected. If a friend wants to play with someone else
s/he may act out or cry. If s/he gets a
low score on a test, s/he may act as if it is the end of the world. Things that other children are able shrug off
seem to hit the depressed child like a ton of bricks.
Sometimes we pass these behaviors off as the child being immature for his/her age. We may characterize him/her as “needy” or “moody”.
Of course, all children demonstrate these symptoms from time
to time. A child may be depressed if
these behaviors persist. This is where
is careful record-keeping can help.
There are many ways to keep track of children’s
behaviors. Some teachers have a three
ring binder with alphabet tabs and a sheet of paper for each child. Others keep a card file box with a card for
I’m afraid those teachers are far more organized than I
am. I learned to have a file folder for
each child. I would jot down a thought
or an observation about a child on any scrap of paper, date it and drop it into
the file folder. When it was time to
talk to a parent or colleagues about the child, I would take out the file and
organize the slips of paper into chronological order. I could add to the information to expand on
my chicken scratches.
You may have an entirely different system that works for
you. The important thing is to jot down
the behaviors you observe so that you can report it as needed.
If we see a child who persistently shows the behaviors, or
some of the behaviors above, we can say, “Kathryn seems to be depressed.” We are not psychologists so we cannot
diagnose, but we can express our concerns.
If we see some of the symptoms above, we do have an
obligation to report them to the child’s parent and to ask for assistance from
the school counselor or behavior intervention team.
Sadly, when I was a principal, I often saw children who
seemed depressed who had gathered such a negative reputation that teachers
labeled them as “bad”, “naughty”, or said the child didn’t care, or was doing
this or that “because she just wants attention”.
Take a look at THAT student. Try to look past the frustration that you feel about his/her behaviors. Could s/he be depressed? Sometimes even just considering that there is a cause for the behavior aside from seeking attention or trying to deliberately get under the teacher’s skin can change how we feel about THAT child.
International Women’s Day was March 8. Contrary to what some commercials seem to
say, it is not a day to wear pink ruffles and feel nurturing. It was started in 1909 as a celebration of
women’s rights, and a way to advocate for more rights. The rights women agitated for at that time
included being paid equal to men and the right to vote.
By 1900, women made up 75% of teachers. High schools were not as common as grades 1-8. Many schools had turned to female teachers in an effort to save money. At that time, women could be paid a fraction of what a man was paid, and they could be expected to clean the school as well.
In many areas, a woman could receive a teaching permit by passing a series of tests. In addition, she had to have people attest to her “deportment”, her behavior in the community. She was expected to dress modestly, avoid spending time with men especially if there was no chaperone, attend church, and remain single. She could be fired at the first hint of “immorality”.
I was not born in 1900 even though many of my students
seemed to think I was a contemporary of Moses.
I have, however lived through some significant changes in education with
regards to women’s rights. In honor of
International Women’s Day I would like to outline some of the changes I’ve seen
during my lifetime. In addition, I would
like to remind readers that none of these changes came from above. They were won by teachers fighting for those
rights through their unions and, in some cases, through lawsuits.
When I was in high school, girls were required to wear dresses to school. We can thank Mary Ann Tinker , her brother, and her parents for filing a lawsuit against the Des Moines Board of Education for changes to the dress code. The Supreme Court’s ruling was the “students do no leave their Constitutional rights at the school house gate”.
This ruling affected many areas of schooling. For example, I was not allowed to take a
drafting class in high school because drafting was for boys only, and,
according to the teacher, “Your short skirts would distract the boys.” Girls were not allowed to take shop classes
and boys did not take home economics classes.
In the latter, we girls were taught to sew, cook, clean, and care for
children. Shop and drafting classes were
expected to teach boys skills they could use to get a job right out of high
In Illinois, I was not allowed to do certain jobs or play sports because of what was called “protective legislation”. That is, the state had passed laws that were supposedly designed to protect a woman’s smaller size and reproductive abilities. In the grocery store where I worked, I was not allowed to stock shelves, a higher paying job than working the cash register, because it would have required lifting more than 25 pounds, the limit placed on women. Playing sports would damage our ability to have babies, or so the lawmakers said. We could watch Iowa girls playing basketball and softball on TV, but Illinois would not allow it.
It was not until I was out of high school, in 1972, that
Title 9 was passed. Among other things,
Title 9 said that girls had to have equal opportunities for sports. Girls did not have to have the exact same
sports available to them, but they needed to have something so that there was
balance. For example, boys played
football while girls played volleyball.
Schools were supposed to provide equal amounts of money to
each sport. Some schools got around this
requirement by using booster clubs to pay for “additional” expenses.
It was not until 1974 that female teachers won the right to be visibly pregnant in the classroom. Prior to the Supreme Court’s decision in Cleveland Board of Education v. LaFleur, most school districts required women to stop teaching before the 4th month of pregnancy and to remain on leave until the child was a specified age. Usually women were not guaranteed to be reinstated in the classroom. Instead, they were supposedly given “given priority in reassignment to a position for which she is qualified”. In other words, before the Supreme Court ruled on this, a woman had to quit teaching if she became pregnant and she couldn’t count on getting her job back again even with the required doctor’s certificate that she was healthy enough to work.
When I applied for my first job in 1978, I had several
The first came during my first interview. I met with the superintendent of
schools. There was no committee or model
lesson to teach. It was just the two of
us with him asking questions and me nervously answering. I needed this job to support my husband and
me! I was stunned when he asked me what
kind of birth control I used. I must
have looked at him strangely because he explained that he didn’t want to hire
someone who would be going on maternity leave right away.
Now, that question is considered illegal. And he would not have asked it if I were not
married. Why? Because an unmarried teacher was not allowed
to be pregnant at all.
The latter situation was covered under what were called “morality
clauses” in teaching contracts. In
these, signing the contract showed the teacher’s agreement to not do anything
that was considered immoral by public standards of the time. Immoral behavior could mean becoming a single
mother, living with a man she was not married to, drinking or becoming drunk in
public, or even public displays of affection.
It could mean wearing one’s skirts “too short”, or clothing that was too
tight. It could mean being gay, being
arrested, taking part in political demonstrations, having an extramarital
affair, or talking back to the principal.
In short, immorality could mean anything the school board said it meant.
Many teachers learned to live outside the school district, and to be very careful when in public. Nonetheless, I received a reprimand from the Board during my first year as a principal in the 90s. I was painting my office and needed some supply or other. I ran out to WalMart wearing my paint-covered, grubby clothes. This was not, the Board said, the way a principal behaved.
When researching for this blog post, I was surprised but not shocked to find that in many states even today teachers may be dismissed for not conforming to the community’s “morals”.
Dress codes continued to be strict for at least another decade after that embarrassing first interview. Female teachers had to wear skirts or dresses, which meant wearing nylons and “appropriate” footwear. Some places were so strict that I learned to take out three of my five earrings as having multiple ear piercings could be construed as too racy. There was no getting away with other piercings, or visible tattoos. And one could not wear denim except on very special occasions. When I moved to a district that allowed women to wear “dress slacks”, I felt like I’d been given a marvelous gift!
After I got divorced, I could not get insurance for my son
through my work. The policy was set up
for singles or for families, and a mother and son were not considered a
family. Birth control was not paid for
through my prescription drug coverage until we entered the 21st
We still have not achieved equal pay for teachers from PK to 12. The gap is closing and is much narrower than when I first began teaching. Back then we were told that elementary children are easy to work with and that to teach high school one needs more education. Even then that argument didn’t hold much water. To the best of my knowledge, we haven’t had elementary teachers who got their teaching license after attending a two year school – the equivalent of an AA. When I first became a principal, I had a couple of elementary teachers who had such degrees, but they were ready to retire. Yes, high school teachers take more in-depth classes in a single subject, but elementary teachers take more classes in more subjects and more in-depth classes in pedagogy. I think anyone would be hard pressed to try to argue one was a more difficult job than the other.
Unions have helped
a lot to achieve parity between the grade levels!
There is still a lot of difference between the pay principals at each level receive. Women are still under-represented in administration, and because individual principals negotiate their contracts individually, they can still be offered less than a male counterpart. In one district I was told that the brand new elementary principal would be receiving half again as much money as I was making even though I was working with a higher grade level and I had four years of experience. I was told flat out that the difference was that I was a single woman and he had a family to support. I don’t think anyone would be that blatant to say it so blatantly now. At least I hope not.
Things have changed a lot for women since 1900, and I’ve only been around to see a fraction of those changes. I haven’t even touched on things like women’s suffrage, the laws that finally allowed women to own property in their own right, being allowed to have a credit card in our name, or being allowed to prepare for any career we want. I haven’t mentioned the college professors who brushed women aside saying we were in college only to get our MRS (to get married). I haven’t mentioned the constant struggle women felt when it seemed everything in the world was against us. I’ve only brushed the surface with my little trip through educational changes. I probably forgot a lot more of them!
I didn’t describe
how difficult the struggles were to achieve those changes. Just think about it: It took the better part of a century to do
this, and it has taken the last 50 years to make most of the changes I’ve described. It would be very easy to lose the gains we’ve
made. Think of that when you listen to
the news or when your local district negotiates its next contract or when your
state contemplates making changes to education law.
Winter weather has certainly disrupted schools here in the Midwest. Our local school district has had 8 snow days so far and a friend whose school is a bit farther north has missed 12 days! Teachers know this means more than simply missing almost two or almost three weeks of classes. Missing school for any reason means that students of any age get out of step with our best laid classroom management plans.
Even during a school year where there are no weather
cancellations, students can get out of step.
Or a teacher can discover that something that sounded like such a good
idea at the beginning of the school year just isn’t working the way s/he
thought it would, or, worse, s/he realizes that she hasn’t followed that plan
What can a teacher do?
Is it ever okay to change the plan in the middle of the year?
The short answer is yes, although it is a bit more
complicated than that.
The first thing to do is to determine if the problem is really
the classroom management plan or if it is the number of days we’ve missed.
Any time students are out of school can lead to students
forgetting or getting out of practice with classroom procedures, routines, or
expectations. In fact, at the beginning
of a school year, I recommend that teachers begin by going over expected
procedures daily for the first week, then each Monday for a few weeks. After that, it is a good idea to review after
each school vacation, or after school cancelations.
I can almost hear some readers saying, “Well, they should
remember that!” Maybe they should, but
their brains are not as mature as the teacher’s adult brain is. Remember, on average, our brains do not fully
mature until age 26, so we cannot expect students to have the judgment that
older adults have even if they look all grown up,
If you decide that the problem is not the amount of time
that the students have been away from the classroom, then it is time to decide
if the issue is consistency.
Educators know consistency is key to so much of what we do
in the classroom! It is very easy for a
teacher to be inconsistent with a procedure!
It doesn’t make us bad people or poor teachers. It just means we are human.
If you’ve decided the procedure hasn’t had a fair chance to
succeed because of inconsistency, the next step is to decide if you are
inconsistent because you are just human, or if the problem is really that it
doesn’t fit the class or you.
If the problem is any reason other than really needing a new
procedure, it is time to do the following:
Point out that X procedure hasn’t been being
Apologize if you have not been consistent
Blame the number of days out of school if that
is the problem
Review the procedure, step-by-step
Have the class practice the procedure
If students practice it well, use praise and encouragement
to reinforce it
If students do not do the procedure as planned,
have them practice it again.
If the problem is that the procedure doesn’t fit your style,
is too complicated, or just doesn’t work for any reason other than the above,
then it is time to come up with a new procedure.
It would be a good idea to ask the class, especially if they
are older than kindergarten through second grade, for their input into planning
the new procedure. You can, of course,
steer the class conversation to doing it in a particular way, but asking for
input can mean that students have a greater buy-in for the procedure.
The bottom line here is that, yes, you can change how you do
things in the classroom at any time during the year. You can pick back up procedures that have
fallen by the wayside or you can create entirely new ways of doing things. The main thing is to make sure you follow the
three steps to teaching anything new:
teach, practice, and reinforce.
I am taking a little break from writing about good rules and
poor rules to address a concern I’ve heard frequently over the past several months. What I’ve heard over and over again is people
saying that the solution for chaotic schools is to get rid of those students who
are disruptive so teachers can work with the students “who want to learn.” These comments have come from those in education,
and those outside of education.
I want to start by saying that I can hear the frustration in
the voices of those who express these ideas.
The teachers who say it are stressed and often bewildered by what is happening. People outside of education are often saying this
because it angers them that their loved ones have such a poor work environment,
or are expressing nostalgia for the “good old days” when allegedly students behaved
No matter what age one lived in, there have always been disruptive
students in the schools. Yes, we did deal
with those students differently in the past.
They were often urged to drop out of school, even as young as in elementary
school. Their absence did make schools more
peaceful, but at what cost?
In my grandparents, or even my parents time, it was possible
for a person to be functionally illiterate and to still make a decent living for
themselves and for their families. There
were factory jobs or manual labor jobs where one did not need to read, write, or
do math at all, or not at a very high level.
That has changed dramatically in the second half of the 20th century
and even more so in the first decade of the 21st.
Using figures from a PBS article describing an episode of Frontline called Dropout Nation from 2012, we
can see that even six years ago, the cost of dropping out of school is expensive,
not just to the drop out but to society as well.
The average dropout can expect to earn an annual
income of $20,241. . . That’s a full $10,386 less than the typical high school graduate,
and $36,424 less than someone with a bachelor’s degree.
While the national unemployment rate stood at 8.1 percent in August [of 2012], joblessness among
those without a high school degree measured 12 percent. Among college graduates,
it was 4.1 percent.
According to the Department of Education.
Dropouts experienced a poverty rate of 30.8 percent, while those with at least a
bachelor’s degree had a poverty rate of 13.5 percent.
Among dropouts between the ages of 16 and 24, incarceration
rates were a whopping 63 times higher than among college graduates, according to
a study by researchers at Northeastern University
When compared to the typical high school graduate
— a dropout will end up costing taxpayers an average of $292,000 over a lifetime
due to the price tag associated with incarceration and other factors such as how
much less they pay in taxes. (Breslow, 2012)
These are dismal
figures. Worse, additional research
shows that this “by the numbers” snapshot is getting darker, not better.
further, each state has set their own age where a student may drop out of
Age for drop out varies.
This figure is in the individual states’ hands. Most have set the legal age at 16. However, fifteen states and the District of
Columbia set the legal drop out age at 18.
Nine have set it at 17. As of
2011, six states, including Iowa were debating raising the minimum dropout age
to 18. In other words, 38 states plus
the District of Columbia have or are considering raising the age when a student
can legally leave school. (K12 Academics, 2011)
The National Education Association, the nation’s largest
teachers’ union, advocates for raising the legal dropout age to 21. Why?
The NEA cites much of the above information and adds that a study done
at MIT shows that more than a quarter of the students considering dropping out
of school stay in because of compulsory attendance laws. (National Education Association, 2012)
So we see that there is a high cost to the student and to
society when young people drop out of school.
But that leads us to the next strand of this issue: what is the connection between using
in-school suspension, out-of-school suspensions and expulsions and dropping
First we have to look at suspension and expulsion, why
schools do and don’t use it.
In the aftermath of mass school shootings in the 1990s, new
policies were put in place at the federal, state, and local levels regarding
students bring guns or other weapons to school, and how we handled violent
students. These policies came to be
called “zero tolerance” policies because any student who brought weapons to
school or who were too violent were expected to be taken out of the school – we
were to have no or zero tolerance for such behavior.
I was a school principal when “zero tolerance” became the
buzzword in conversations about school discipline. In districts all around mine and across the
country, students were being suspended for “offenses” as small as bring a knife
in their lunch box to cut up an apple, making their fingers into “guns” and
having imaginary gun battles, and bringing their grandfather’s pocket knife to
show and tell. I believed that such a
strict interpretation of the zero tolerance policies was absurd and I refused
to suspend the kindergartener who brought that pocket knife to school, although
I did keep it in my desk until his parents could come get it. I was much more concerned with the intent
behind the behavior than actually bringing the item to school or playing “cops
and robbers”. At that time, I often
declared that if someone wanted to take me to court over it, I figured no judge
would condemn me. I still stand by that
Yet many did not and school suspensions and expulsions rose
dramatically. However, during the Obama
administration, states and schools were sent a policy memo asking for a more
moderate interpretation of the policy requirements. Sadly, after the Parkland shooting, federal
level law makers have called for a return to the literal interpretation of “zero
tolerance” and for increasingly punitive responses to student behaviors.
We have had two decades to study the results of those zero
tolerance policies and to see if they do indeed work. The short answer is “No, they do not work.” Why?
A synthesis of a number of studies shows that schools that
have high suspension rates demonstrate low academic performance rates for the
school. These performance rates are
those measured by whatever academic assessment has been required by the
state. Additionally, studies of student
attitudes show that schools that have a high number of suspensions have
students and families who believe the school to be punitive instead of trying
to help students and their families. The
students in the studies often cited the reason for a suspended student’s
behavior as being rooted in institutional oppression based on race, creed,
socioeconomic condition, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. These observations made the students less
likely to view the school, its teachers and administrators as sympathetic to
the needs of young people, and more likely to be unfair and arbitrary. (Black, 2018)
In other words, the greater the number of suspensions and
expulsions in a school, the more poorly the school did academically and in the
perceptions of the students and their families.
Further, there is a direct correlation between suspension
and the so-called school to prison pipeline.
In an article about the reasons why school punishments do not work,
Marie Amaro cites an Australian study that found “students were 4.5 times more likely to
engage in criminal activity when they were suspended” than when they were simply
truant. She further asks, “Jails are
full of people who do not respond to the threat of incarceration so why do we
think that loss of recess or suspension will change a student’s behaviour?” (Amaro)
To be absolutely fair in this discussion, I must report that I was not the only administrator who disliked the zero tolerance policies and who did not always follow them. However, often the reasons why school leaders did not follow them had to do with another punitive piece of legislation: the 2000 iteration of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act. The ESEA has been around for nearly 60 years, and is renewed approximately every 10 years. Each time it is revised, it is given a new name: Goals 2000, Every Student Succeeds Act, or, in 2000, No Child Left Behind (NCLB). The ESEA is currently called Every Student Succeeds Act and does away with many of the NCLB regulations — therefore, those who lay the blame for the problems in education on NCLB may need to look at the ESSA more closely.
NCLB was the first time that there were punitive measures
against schools and districts that did not show “adequate yearly progress” in
academic achievement, or in school behavior issues. Under NCLB, schools that were deemed “persistently
unsafe” were sanctioned in progressively harsher ways. As a result, many school superintendents directed
administrators to under-report acts of school violence, and to deal with, for
example, fist-fights, without resorting to out-of-school suspensions.
This institutional dishonesty resulted in some very
interesting efforts to encourage young people to avoid violent behavior. In one school district near the one where I
worked, the middle school principal would fly a special flag outside of the
school building on days when there were no fights. Other schools adopted school-wide reward
programs such as point and level systems that gave students rewards such as
weekly movie afternoons if the student had earned enough points to be
considered at the highest level of positive behavior.
Many schools seemed to jump onto the positive rewards
bandwagon in an effort to encourage positive behavior. We saw systems like “catch them being good”
in which adults would give a tangible reward to students who did something
positive. We saw “Character Counts”
programs in which students were expected to demonstrate one of the six pillars
of ethical behavior, and in which students who did demonstrate those behaviors
were given a tangible reward of some kind.
The common theme of these programs was to give students tangible
rewards if they followed the rules and who were recognized by teachers and
staff as “behaving”.
I can almost hear readers saying, “What’s wrong with
that? That’s the opposite of punishing
misbehavior, isn’t it?”
Well, yes, and no.
Yes, giving tangible rewards like movies, or extra recess,
or special privileges, candy, treats, tickets, or whatever, is the opposite of
punitive measures that seek to punish those who do not “behave”. But the reality is that these programs do not
We have known since the 1970s at least that giving a person
a tangible reward actually decreases their enjoyment of that activity. Daniel Pink, in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, summarizes
these studies from an economics perspective.
(I highly recommend listening to or watching Pink’s TED Talk.) But Pink is not the first person to call for
end to “stickering students to death” as I used to call it. Alfie Kohn has long been an outspoken
champion of making schools less about rewards and more about learning.
I’ve written about this phenomenon before, and I will repeat
here: promising treats, extra recesses,
or other tangible rewards will not make students more successful. It will not make students adopt the behaviors
that are rewarded. In fact, it will make
students less likely to see the behavior or academics as something worthy to
do, and more likely to make them see those things as means to an end. They will do the minimum to get the maximum
reward. It will not make those students
who are not rewarded envious enough of the reward to have them change their
behavior on their own. It does make
students see the reward as handed out consistently to students based on
something other than their behavior – for example, students perceive that athletes
get rewards more often than non-athletes.
It can also result in the same phenomenon reported in Black article,
that students see rewards and punishments being unfair and punitively applied
to those who really need help.
Dr. Ruby Payne, quoted in an article about the effectiveness
of punishment in schools, says that while teachers may see punishment and
rewards as flip sides of the same problem, students do not. She goes on to say that behaviorist theory
that says to reward one behavior and punish another may work when one is
observing rats in the laboratory, or training animals, but it doesn’t work so
clearly with human beings. (Morrison, 2014)
Rick Wormeli ,another “big name” in education, comes at this
argument from the perspective of making meaningful changes in schools and from
standards-based grading. In one of his
videos available on YouTube, he discusses the concept of make-up work and
assessing students who fail to turn in homework. In it he says, that students who raise their
hands, sit down in their chairs, do work when we tell them to do it, do it, not
from a fear of punishment, but from hope.
He says it is not about “you can get a horse to water but you can’t make
it drink. No, it is about you can get a
horse to water, but you can’t make him thirsty.” He advocates for making students “thirsty”
and to do that they have to have hope. (Stenhouse Publishers, 2010)
So how do we, as Rick Wormeli says, communicate hope to
First, we have to change our perspective on what works and
what does not work when talking about managing behavior. All of the resources I consulted stated
this: We must reform how we manage
student behavior, not with punishments or rewards, but by teaching students the
behaviors we expect.
Harry and Rosemary Wong have advocated this approach for
decades. They say that if we just give
rewards or apply negative consequences, we are applying discipline, we are not
managing the classroom or the behavior.
They repeat over and over again that we must teach students what we
expect them to do, not just with academics, but with behaviors as well. (Wong, 2018)
Understand, this is not a quick or easy fix. Many teachers have not received much
instruction in classroom management.
They have been expected to simply acquire these skills by osmosis or
some other process. Those who were
required to take a specific class in classroom management often did not really
embrace the information. They did what
was expected of them, but continued to believe that punishment was the real way
to change student behavior. After all,
the college students would say, they changed their behavior when their parents
This last is a misconception about how parents teach
children about what to do in any given situation. Parents teach children in several ways that
do not include punishments. They
demonstrate what they want, using what we educators would call direct instruction. They also employ indirect instruction by
modeling expected behaviors – sometimes behaviors educators do not want to see
in schools! Parents have children
practice the desired behaviors over and over again, primarily because parents
have more opportunity to be with children – they are with children when they
are not in school and during school vacations.
(I am using “parents” loosely, as meaning whomever stands in for
parents, including those providing child care.)
In addition, parents are usually loved by children, and are far more
important to the child than a teacher.
This latter part is especially true if the child has the
perception that “the teacher doesn’t like me” or “the school is out to get me.” This is the result of the negative side of
the self-fulfilling prophesy, and of being both on the receiving end of school
punishments or observing that these punishments are applied in a manner thee
student sees as unfair.
I often hear, “By this age, students should know . . . “ Yes, they probably should know, but they have
just demonstrated they do not know. Or
they may know what Ms. Jones down the hall means or expects but not what you
mean by something or what you expect students to do. It may be fine to just toss work onto Ms.
Jones’ desk, but you want the work put neatly into a particular tray. You must teach students how to do that! It may be fine in Ms. Jones’ room to holler
across the room, “Hey Teach! I need some
help here!” It may not be okay with you,
and if not, you must teach the desired behavior!
When we teach behaviors, we have to follow the formula we
use when teaching how to find the area of a rectangle or the steps in the
scientific principle: teach, practice,
reinforce, reteach, practice some more, and reinforce again. Just saying do this or do that at the
beginning of the year won’t help.
Expecting students to remember everything you expect when they’ve had 3
out of 5 days home with snow days, won’t help.
We must teach the behaviors, and review them when students have been
away from school or in a situation where the expectations have been different
for a while. Review expectations after
having a sub as well. It doesn’t have to
be a big, long review. It can be as
simple as, “In just a minute I’m going to ask if you all turned in your
homework when you walked into the room.
Tell me what it is you are supposed to do when you turn in
homework? Jackie? Yes, that is correct, we . . .”
Middle school and high school teachers often describe
student behaviors that they find particularly difficult to change. This can be true for a number of
First, one of my personal rules is “the larger the kid, the
larger the behavior.” Behaviors that
started out fairly small when the student was in kindergarten have compounded
until they are “larger” by the time they are in 7th grade. A kindergartener who throws a temper tantrum
is more easily handled than a 7th grader who is nearly the height and
weight of an adult.
Second, as children get older, there are more opportunities
for life experiences to leave a permanent mark or scar. What may have made a child cry in 1st
grade has become so deeply entrenched by 7th grade that it may have
completely changed that student’s perspective on life, leaving him/her with
chronic depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. The 7th grader has had at least 8
years of school experiences, making re-learning or changing a behavior that
much more difficult.
Third, the peer group has become more and more
important. An early elementary student
may do something just to have the teacher smile at him. A 7th grader is much more likely
to try to get other 7th graders to approve of his behavior.
Fourth, a 7th grader has had far more
opportunities to learn what works and what doesn’t work. She may have learned that if she doesn’t like
math, she can act like this or that and she will be sent out of the room. He may have learned that if the lunch room is
where he will be bullied, he can earn a detention and avoid the lunch room all
together. If she think that teachers are
usually out to get her, she will see what the teacher does, not what the
teacher intends, as reinforcing that belief.
All of these are even more true of the high school student.
One obvious solution would be for specialized teachers to
work with disruptive students. I started
out as a special education teacher, and that is what we were expected to accomplish. However, I have worked in teacher preparation
for 13 years and as a school principal and curriculum coordinator for 12. In the last 15 years, I have seen a troubling
trend in special education. That is,
these specialists are viewed as people to help students complete work assigned
in “regular” classes rather than as having something to teach students separate
from the “regular” classroom. More
recently I have seen this trend in states or in districts that have a near 100%
“commitment” to the integration of special needs children into the regular
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not advocating for a return to the bad
old days when kids with special needs were hidden away in basement rooms and
who never saw the rest of the school or their peers except in art, music, and
PE classes. (That latter is another
story altogether.) What I am saying is
that students with special needs in learning disabilities and behavior
disorders need to have specialized instruction in how to work with their different
abilities. The LD student needs to know
how to use his/her strengths to help him/her learn. The BD student needs to learn ways to better
control his/her behavior before being out in the general population. Both are areas of instruction that a teacher
with a four year degree has had no time to learn.
In teaching a junior/senior class in classroom management, I
was appalled to learn that the students knew nothing or next to nothing about
working with ADD/ADHD students who do not necessarily qualify for and IEP, let
alone knowing how to work with BD students, and nothing about oppositional
defiant disorder let alone conduct disorders.
Yet they were expected to work with all of these children in the regular
classroom often without support from a “push in” special education
teacher. Even worse in my eyes was that many
were getting additional endorsements in special education besides their “regular”
teaching license with almost no additional training.
How can we expect any regular teacher with a four year
degree to know what to do about students whose poor behavior has taken root for
so many years?
Yes, these students can benefit, sometimes, from having an
aide work with them. However, few
special education aides have any training whatsoever in working with these
students. And what do we expect when we
pay them minimum wage for 30 hours a week or less so we can get by without
providing health insurance?
Neither is what is meant when we write an IEP that says a
student needs an aide or when we say that s/he is eligible for specialized
instruction. Folks, that is exactly what
it means when we say a student is eligible for an IEP! We are saying the student needs specialized
instruction from a teacher trained to work with his/her disability.
Besides the lack of training, many teachers find that the
special education teacher is bogged down with far too many students than s/he
can teach effectively, even if s/he is only expected to help students complete
work assigned by others.
To be fair, those who set the school budget and who oversee
the instructional program too often do not have much more training than the
regular classroom teacher, and often that training came many more years
ago. School board members in many states
do not need to have any particular level of education to qualify for the
position. They are elected on whether or
not their campaign promises strike the voting population as needed or
reasonable. And few of the people in a
community will vote to raise property taxes to improve school funding.
So we must understand that changing this situation will not
bet a quick or easy fix.
There are a few things a teacher can do to help improve the
situation. But it will not be a silver
bullet! And often, the best time to
start these changes is at the beginning of the year.
What we can do:
Relationships Teachers can and must develop relationships with students. It is not enough to develop a relationship with those students who follow the rules, complete homework, and are generally viewed as “the good kids.” When we do this, we perpetuate the self-fulfilling prophesy. Students live up or down to the teacher’s perceptions of them, even if the teacher does not consciously treat the students differently.
I recommend greeting students at the door of the classroom
at the beginning of the day or at the beginning of each class period. When I first heard of doing this, I was teaching
science and saw the passing time between classes as the time when I could
quickly set up equipment for the next class.
I had to revise how I structured my working day, arriving at school a
bit earlier and setting up the equipment for the whole day, not just class
period by class period. I had to get
over my initial feelings of how unfair this was to me, and to focus instead on
I also recommend that teachers work to improve their
relationship with students by improving their relationship with the students’
families. Making positive phone calls
home is the best way to do that as study after study has shown. Families view a voicemail message as being
much more personal than an email, especially when it appears the email is mass-generated. And we still cannot guarantee that adult
family members will use electronic media with any regularity! I’ve written about ways to go about making
positive parent contacts. When I taught
middle school I saw about 120 students a day, but I managed to usually meet my
goal of contacting each student’s family by phone once per month. It meant making about 6 phone calls per day. I was always sure to have a quick thing to
say, hoping for voicemail, but telling parents who actually answered the phone,
“I have about 30 seconds to let you know this” so they would be more
understanding if I had to cut the call short.
Although I do not have the article at my fingertips, I
recall reading where a teacher would quietly some of the more problematic
students as they entered the room, “I’m glad you are here today. I’m planning on calling your mom (or aunt, or
foster mom, etc.) today and telling her how you are doing in school so I’m
going to be watching you closely today to be able to tell her something good.” It sounded a bit like what I did as a
principal. I couldn’t hope to call every
family about every one of the 500 children in the building each month, so I
picked out those kids who had the worst reputations for behavior and focused on
calling home each month with something positive about those students.
I can say from experience as both a teacher, a principal,
and parent that those positive phone calls work!
Use Praise and Encouragement, not Tangible Rewards We know tangible rewards don’t work so don’t use them. Yes, that is difficult when other teachers use them, but it can be done.
When I am talking about praise and encouragement, I am not
talking about saying, “Good job, Kathryn”.
That is not praise. In fact, most
students hear it as so much noise – think how Charlie Brown hears his teacher
talking. Others see that “good job” as
something other kids hear but that they don’t – more ways we perpetuate the
Useful praise tells the receiver exactly what s/he is doing
right and why. Students cannot hope to
replicate the behavior if they do not explicitly know what it is they are
supposed to do! Here is the formula for
effective praise and encouragement:
Get the student’s attention – usually by saying
their name quietly or by talking directly to the student
Tell the student what s/he has done that is
right or praiseworthy. For example,
saying, “You were able to hold your tongue and not say something mean to Gloria
when she knocked your books down.”
Tell the student why that behavior is
positive. For example, “Remember how
when you would yell at the other student, it was usually you that got into
trouble? By holding your tongue, you
were able to avoid making the situation worse and having you get into trouble.”
If you can, acknowledge the effort the student
made to do this thing. For example, “I
know it takes a lot of effort and self-control to do that.”
Then you can add words of praise like, “that was
awesome”, or “good for you”, etc.
It is important that teachers make the praise about the
students, not about the teacher. Saying
something like , “I like how you did this or that” is not effective because it
makes the praise contingent upon what the teacher likes. Students need to know that there is a goal
larger than what a teacher likes or dislikes.
If it is just about what the teacher likes, we reinforce the perception
that teachers are arbitrary and unfailr.
Use Restorative Justice Practices instead of Punishments There are some very good articles about restorative justice practices found on the Edutopia website. In a nutshell, restorative justice practices focus on helping students make up for what they have done, and learn from the situation rather than applying punishments. Students do not learn from punishments because they are designed to make students fear the negative consequences of a particular behavior rather than learning an alternative to that behavior.
A case in point: many
schools use detentions and they do so because they believe students will want
to avoid getting a detention. This does
not acknowledge that students often do not know how or what to do instead of
the behavior that earned them a detention, that detention is often preferable
to being with others at recess or in the lunch room, or that often older
students have incorporated the idea of being “given” a detention with their
personal identity. (Note, in schools
that do use detentions, never say you are “giving” a detention. That again reinforces the idea that
detentions are awarded in an arbitrary or punitive manner. Instead, always talk about the student
earning the detention or “In this school, that behavior means you must go to
detention.” Never make the behavior
about what the teacher likes or dislikes!)
Too often we think that if this small negative consequence
didn’t work then we just need something stronger to use as a deterrent. Not so.
Less harsh penalties often have a greater effect on the student than the
fear of a harsher one. It is more
effective to hold a student after class for a minute or so to talk with the
teacher (keep it short!) than to threaten a detention.
Don’t assume! Teach the expected behavior! I often hear, “By this age, students should know . . . “ Yes, they probably should know, but they have just demonstrated they do not know. Or they may know what Ms. Jones down the hall means or expects but not what you mean by something or what you expect students to do. It may be fine to just toss work onto Ms. Jones’ desk, but you want the work put neatly into a particular tray. You must teach students how to do that! It may be fine in Ms. Jones’ room to holler across the room, “Hey Teach! I need some help here!” It may not be okay with you, and if not, you must teach the desired behavior!
When we teach behaviors, we have to follow the formula we
use when teaching how to find the area of a rectangle or the steps in the
scientific principle: teach, practice,
reinforce, reteach, practice some more, and reinforce again. Just saying do this or do that at the
beginning of the year won’t help.
Expecting students to remember everything you expect when they’ve had 3
out of 5 days home with snow days, won’t help.
We must teach the behaviors, and review them when students have been
away from school or in a situation where the expectations have been different
for a while. Review expectations after
having a sub as well. It doesn’t have to
be a big, long review. It can be as
simple as, “In just a minute I’m going to ask if you all turned in your
homework when you walked into the room.
Tell me what it is you are supposed to do when you turn in
homework? Jackie? Yes, that is correct, we . . .”
Look for the Positives, not the Negatives It is very important that teachers always focus on what kids are doing right, not what they are doing wrong. That means recognizing and reinforcing when students take baby steps in the right direction. We do that when we teach kids to do double digit multiplication. We will say, “Yes, you got this part and this part right. Now, what do you do next?” Sadly, we forget that behavior is also something that is learned and changed incrementally. When we look for positives, we are much more likely to see the student who is taking those baby steps in the right direction. We are more likely to notice that student who didn’t yell at Gloria when she knocked his/her books on the floor. We are more likely to get the behavior we want when we actually look for it!
I know this is much easier to say than to do. It takes a true shift in perspective. I used to make little notes to myself,
usually in the form of a symbol, and put them where I would see them, just to
remind myself to do this and not that. For
example, I would use symbols like these to remind myself to use the effective
Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin We have to let students (and parents) know that we really like them. We may not like something they did, but we like the person the student is. We cannot do that unless we focus on the positive!
On a larger scale, there are things schools must do if they
are going to turn things around, if the school is going to improve the
experience of schooling. It is not going
to improve if schools and districts adopt policies that punish students rather
than help educate students to live better lives.
Don’t expect that adopting any of the above will change
things over night, or in a week, or even in a month. Remember, most students have had too many
years of negative school experience to overcome. Indeed many of these recommendations work
best if initiated at the beginning of a school year. However, one can make improvements in our own
lives as well as the lives of the students by even taking small steps.
Given that the school year is half way done, I would
recommend doing the following:
Make positive phone calls home
Teach, practice, reinforce (and repeat) the
Hate the sin but love the sinner
I know that I have not addressed all of the concerns
expressed to me about this topic, but this blog post is twice the length of any
other one I’ve done, so I will have to look at those areas in other posts.
Take a deep breath!
You can do this!
Works Cited Amaro, M. (n.d.). Why Punishment is Ineffective Behavior Management. Retrieved February 13, 2019, from The Highly Effective Teacher: https://thehighlyeffectiveteacher.com/why-punishment-is-ineffective-behaviour-management/ Black, D. W. (2018, March 15). Zero tolerance discipline policies won’t fix school shootings. Retrieved February 13, 2019, from The Conversation: Adademic Rigor; Journalistic Flair: http://theconversation.com/zero-tolerance-discipline-policies-wont-fix-school-shootings-93399 Breslow, J. M. (2012, September 21). By the numbers: the cost of dropping out of high school. Retrieved February 13, 2019, from PBS: https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/by-the-numbers-dropping-out-of-high-school/ Bridgeland, J. M., Dilulio, J. J., & Morison, K. B. (2006). The Silent Epidemic: Perspectives of High School Dropouts. Retrieved February 17, 2019, from gatesfoundation.org: https://docs.gatesfoundation.org/Documents/TheSilentEpidemic3-06Final.pdf K12 Academics. (2011). School Leaving Age. Retrieved February 13, 2019, from K12 Academics: https://www.k12academics.com/dropping-out/school-leaving-age Maxwell, Z. (2013, November 27). The School-to-Prison Pipeline Is Targeting Your Child. Retrieved September 12, 2018, from Ebony: https://www.ebony.com/news/the-school-to-prison-pipeline-is-targeting-your-child-405/ Morrison, N. (2014, August 31). The Surprising Truth about Discipline in Schools. Retrieved February 12, 2019, from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/nickmorrison/2014/08/31/the-surprising-truth-about-discipline-in-schools/#5bdd6ec93f83 National Education Association. (2012). Raising Compulsory School Age Requirements: A Dropout Fix? (An NEA Policy Brief). Retrieved February 13, 2019, from National Education Association: http://www.nea.org/assets/docs/PB40raisingcompulsoryschoolage2012.pdf Stenhouse Publishers. (2010, December 14). Rick Wormeli: Redos, Retakes, and Do-Overs, Part One. Retrieved February 16, 2019, from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM-3PFfIfvI Wexler, N. (2018, November 29). Why Graduation Rates Are Rising But Student Achievement Is Not. Retrieved February 13, 2019, from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/nataliewexler/2018/11/29/why-graduation-rates-are-rising-but-student-achievement-is-not/#271c02216a7f Wong, H. a. (2018). The First Days of School: How to be an effective teacher 5e. Harry K. Wong Publications.
Have you ever had to pry yourself out of bed in the morning and shuffle off to school even though you’d rather stay home?
Have you ever had to make polite small talk with someone you
really do not like or do not respect?
Have you ever felt crabby and irritable when you were in a
situation where you couldn’t express that?
Have you ever had a period in your life where you weren’t
particularly happy with yourself?
Do you ever have days when your best is far less than your
best on other days?
I’m sure you could say yes to all of the situations
described above. I certainly have! There have been many days in my life where I’ve
had to paste a smile on my face when I really wanted to pout or stomp my
feet. There have been many times where I
have had to “fake it ‘til you make it” at work or in other parts of my life. And I have had periods in my life where I was
not pleased with myself but was still expected to meet my obligations, when my “best”
was nowhere near as good as my capabilities.
Let’s face it: It is
not always easy living out lives! And
most of us have learned that we cannot always show everyone what we are
thinking or feeling.
The students who come to us for six hours or so every day
often have the same difficulties, but they are not as mature as we are and
often cannot fake it. Not all of them
are able to overcome their inner emotions and present a more perfect front to
the world. It is equally true that some
will have learned to fake it rather than let a teacher know what they are
Right? What does this have to do
with classroom rules?
There are very well-meaning teachers who make rules that
they themselves would not be able to follow.
They make rules about emotions, things that are not really observable or
I used this commercially
available rules poster as an illustration last week and I labeled some of the “rules”
as really being goals.
Let’s look at these a little more closely.
Always do your best. How do we know if what a student is doing is
his/her very best or the best s/he can do right now?
yourself. How do we know a
student believes in him/herself?
The answer to both of those questions is we don’t. We honestly do not know if anyone believes in
him/herself. Sure, we can see certain
behaviors that make us believe that Susie believes in herself, but we really
don’t know for sure.
You might say, “a student who believes in herself would keep
trying when they find something difficult”
or “he would turn in his homework because he would know that his school
grades matter” or “she would wear clean clothes and have better hygiene if she
believes in herself”.
All of those behaviors might lead us to think the student
doesn’t believe in himself. But we
cannot know for sure. We cannot see
inside any student’s head to know what s/he is really feeling or thinking. In fact, many of the students who come to us
every day have learned, sometimes painfully, to fake it.
Let me try to clarify.
What is going on with the student in this photo?
You might say the student is tired, or isolating himself, or
that he is bored, maybe angry. You might
say any of those things and you might be right.
You can cite your experience that says that when a student has his head
down on the back of a seat like that he is feeling this way or that. And you might be right. But you might not be.
You really cannot know for certain what is going on inside a
student’s head. Yes, this one might be
tired, or sad, or bored, or angry. He
might be isolating himself for a reason that has negative connotations. But he also might have a headache. He could be overwhelmed by the noise around
him, or trying to control his emotional reaction to something, or he could be
hungry. He could just be tired of
holding his head up!
In fact, the site where I found that image had it under “bored
child’, “angry child”, and “sad child”.
My third point about classroom rules is that the rules
should be about things that are observable and measurable. If we make rules about thoughts, attitudes,
or emotions, we will be forever chastising students. And we can be wrong about it, too.
Take this young lady.
Is she engaged because she is “ready to learn” as the rules poster
says? Does she believe in herself?
She does appear to be doing what she’s been asked to do if
she was asked to do some school work.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Once I had to deal with a first grade girl who, by all
appearances, seemed to be a model student in the classroom. On the playground, she was far from
well-behaved. She was the leader of a
group of girls who were terrorizing other girls. This young lady was actually a bully who was
directing others to carry out her bullying behavior. When I talked to her about it, she informed
me that she wrote out plans for who she was going to tell to do what to
whom. She had it all plotted out in a
notebook in her desk. When I asked, the
teacher told me that this little girl “loved to write” and would get done with
her work early so she could spend time writing stories. The teacher had to see the bullying plans the
girl had written to believe she could be at all involved in this playground
This was an experienced teacher and not one that was easily
fooled by students. However, this little
girl had the teacher snowed.
We just do not know what is going on inside other people.
I often see rules that say something about “respect yourself”. I understand what the teacher is getting at
when they have this as a rule. The
teacher believes, perhaps correctly, that a person who respects themselves will
treat others well and will do what they need to do to make their aspirations
come true. However, I also know that
children who are abused often present a “perfect” front to the world outside
while inside they have little respect for themselves. I’ve worked with young people who are “cutters”,
who cut themselves to relieve stress and painful emotions, yet few of their
teachers knew anything was amiss.
I often see rules that say something about “have a good
attitude”. Again, I understand that the
teachers are trying to say that the students should act like they want to
learn, that they should be willing to try new things, or to persevere when learning something that is
more difficult. I want students to do
that, too. Yet, we cannot know if
students have a good attitude. We can
only know if they appear to
have a good attitude.
We make rules about ‘respect the teacher” when we really do
not know if they actually respect us. We
just want them to treat us as if they respect us. We make rules about “make friends” not
because we really think everyone needs to be friends with all 500 or 2000 kids
in the building, but because we want them to act in a friendly manner. We make rules about “have fun” not because we
think that memorizing multiplication tables is all that fun, but because we
want them to learn to love learning.
We don’t expect teachers to have fun all day long, or to be
friends with all of the adults who work in the building, or to respect even the
most bumbling of colleague or administrator, although we do expect them to
treat that person respectfully. We certainly
“have a good attitude” all day long, every day.
So can we really expect students to do so?
That’s what we are usually trying to get at when we make
rules that are about things that are not observable or measurable. We want students to behave as if those things
How can we hold students accountable for such “rules”?
I asked that of a group of college students in a classroom
management class. I was told, angrily, “I’m
not an idiot! If a student is having a
bad day, I won’t force him to follow that rule!”
If that pre-service teacher meant she would be sensitive to
the students’ needs, then more power to her.
But if it is a RULE, then we are obligated to hold students
accountable. Thinking back to the
traffic laws analogy in previous posts, a police officer is rarely, if ever,
going to say, “Oh, wow. You are having a
bad day, so I’m not going to write you a ticket for exceeding the speed limit
or rolling through that stop sign.” If
it is the law, a rule, then it is in place at all times even if we don’t feel
like following it.
(Yes, there is something called civil disobedience, but that
is something else. Come on, don’t rain
on my analogy!)
Let’s say you did allow Fred off the hook for not following
the rule “Have a good attitude.” The
other students in the room observe what happens when Fred tells you that he is
having a bad day, and you do not follow through on enforcing the rule. The next time you try to hold Herman
accountable for that rule, he tells he is having a bad day. You really cannot dispute it because you don’t
know what went on before Fred got to school and you don’t know how he is really
feeling about it.
Teachers may believe that they are trying to be equitable
and responsive to students’ needs by enforcing the rules sometimes and not
other times. However, I would be willing
to bet that, even though the teacher means well, s/he begins to enforce the
rules in a way that reinforces the self-fulfilling prophesy, being flexible
with some students and inflexible with others based on his/her perceptions
about that student.
We all know what happens if a teacher is not consistent
about enforcing rules. Students begin to
resent the fact that the rules apply to some, but not all. They try to argue about fairness. And they begin to test the teacher every day –
is today a day when the rules are enforced?
Or is today one of the days when they are not? Are they enforced for this student and not
That is a recipe for chaos.
In addition, students live up or down to their perceptions
about the teacher’s beliefs and attitude towards them.
Take a look at your list of classroom rules. Do any other them deal with things that are
not observable or measurable? If so,
what behavior is it that you are trying to get students to do? Is there another way to get that behavior?
I used to tell students to “give me the appearance that you
are paying attention to me. Look in my
direction. Nod your head sometimes.” Of course, I said it humorously, and the students
laughed, but there was a bit of seriousness as well. If a student was doing something that made it
appear that he was not paying attention to me, I would make another joke about
it and most of the students would comply.
Think about how you might get students to do X besides
making a rule about it.
We’ve looked at four of Roe’s Rules for Rules so far:
Rules must be about things students can actually
control or know how to do.
Rules must be about things that are reasonable.
Rules must be in place at all times.
Rules must be about things that are actually observable
We will look at another aspect of rules next week.
Recently, I’ve received several Facebook posts asking for a
return to prayer in schools. I would
like to believe that the people who post these kinds of things are
well-meaning, and that they have not really thought this through.
I do not think prayer should be back in public schools because
they are public. That means that they are open to any and all, no matter the
creed. I have been an educator for 39
years. I have worked in both public and
parochial schools, so please do not think I am anti-religion. I am not.
There are no laws against prayer in schools. By law, students can bring their own copies of
scriptures, they can wear religious garb, they can form religious clubs, and
they can pray whenever they like as long as it is voluntary. Prayer led by students, for example around
the flag pole before school starts, is fine. In fact, that kind of prayer is protected by the
much maligned No Child Left Behind version of the Elementary and Secondary
What is forbidden is having school officials leading prayer, or
anything that makes it seem that the public school is teaching or promoting one
(Public schools can teach about religion, but they cannot teach
religion, if you catch the difference.)
There are schools where teacher-led, or administrator-led prayer
is fine, where it is the norm to teach a particular religion, and any parent
can choose to send their children there. These are parochial schools or other kinds of
private schools. These schools are not
usually supported by public taxes, and , yes, to send a child there one must
pay tuition. Some may find the tuition
to be prohibitive, yet I’ve worked in parochial schools where every single
student was there on scholarship, so tuition is not always a barrier to that
The point is that there are schools where a particular religion
is taught, practiced, and celebrated.
Any family can choose to have that kind of school for their
children. There are face-to-face
parochial schools and there are online parochial schools, so even those who
live in small towns can send their children to a school that has a religious
Often those who call for a return to prayer in schools are
engaging in a kind of nostalgia, a belief that things were better in the good
old days. But were they?
I can remember when some of the public schools I attended had
teachers or administrators who led prayer, and there were Christmas programs
that told the story of the Nativity. Let’s
go back to one of those years I can remember.
Fifty years ago was 1969.
That is the year when good things like the Apollo 11 moon landing and
Woodstock happened. Teachers and
administrators in many public schools led prayers. It was common to have high school graduation have
religious overtones. School Christmas
programs told the story of the Nativity, and children dressed up as angels and
vied to be chosen as Mary or Joseph. It
was also a year of much turmoil. We were
still feeling the effects of the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr and
Robert Kennedy. Segregation was the
norm. It was the year of Chappaquiddick . In many states, women could not have a credit
card in their own name and a pregnant teacher was forced to quit when she began
to show. Richard Nixon took the oath of
office, and a few days later, perhaps coincidentally, the President’s salary
doubled. We were still enmeshed in Viet
Nam and the draft lottery commenced. The
Stonewall riots took place in New York.
The Manson family murdered Susan Tate.
In most public schools, girls were required to wear dresses and boys
were required to wear dress pants.
Tennis shoes were only for gym class.
So not everything was as rosy and peachy as nostalgic memories
can paint them to be. We have come a
long way in 50 years. We can probably
all agree that we have a long way to go before we can declare the US a
Would requiring prayer in our public schools change that?
Public schools are different than private schools. They are funded through public monies, and
they are designed to be more inclusive than private schools, more diverse. When
I was an administrator of a parochial school, I could say, “I’m sorry, we
cannot serve your child best in this school” and send kids and families
away if they did not want to conform to our religious beliefs or rules. On the
other hand, in public schools children from all families are welcomed. That means that any given public school could
serve students and families who are all denominations of Christian, Jewish,
Muslim, Buddhist, followers of Shintoism, Hindu, so on and so forth.
I mention “all denominations of Christians” because I find that
the majority of people who post this particular call for prayer in the schools
describe themselves as Christians. Yet
there are many, many different kinds of Christians. Each of those denominations were formed
because a group did not agree with a particular version of Christianity. Within those denominations there are
disagreements about which way to say the Lord’s prayer, how to be baptized, and
even which day is the day God intended for community worship.
If one believes this country is or should be declared Christian,
which of the above versions of Christianity do you think should be the basis of
prayer in schools? Do you think you and
all of the members of your community would agree?
Even our Founding Fathers did not share a common religion or
even a common version of Christianity.
We are a country that has prospered on diversity and by protecting
that diversity. Those who disagee often argue that the country was founded by
the Pilgrims. That is not completely
accurate. There were other colonies in
North America before the Pilgrims set foot on Plymouth Rock. There were French and Spanish Catholics. There were other English colonies who
practiced Christianity based on the Church of England. Remember, the Pilgrims wound up on this
continent after they had sought religious freedom in Britain and the
Netherlands. Others seeking religious
freedom followed, including William Penn who was a Quaker. The colony he founded was based on religious
freedom. And let’s not forget that the
people indigenous to the continent had their own beliefs.
As the various colonies came together to form a nation, we took
steps to not just declare ourselves independent but also that we do not force
anyone to believe a certain thing. That
statement is in our Constitution, in the Bill of Rights. The First Amendment to
the Constitution is very clear. It says: “Congress shall make no law
respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise
thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of
the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress
If we believe in our democracy and in our Constitution, then we
believe that no one should be forced to attend a school that promotes a
religion in which we do not believe, and we believe that we must uphold the
rights our Founders held most dear including the Constitution’s First Amendment.
Please note, it is the FIRST amendment,
so it was the one that the Founders believed came first.
It is my experience that many who call for a return to prayer in
public schools believe themselves to be fervent supporters of the foundational
beliefs of our nation. The First
Amendment, along with the rest of the Bill of Rights, was submitted to the
states for ratification on September 25, 1789, and adopted on December 15,
1791. It is the bedrock, the foundation
of our democracy, our republic. If one
defines oneself as a patriot, then one must defend that First Amendment.
So let’s celebrate the fact that we can teach our children about our own, dearly held religious beliefs at home or in a private school with others who have the same beliefs, and that our public schools allow our children to experience the richness of the diversity our country allows and enjoys, a diversity that is not so celebrated in other countries or in other times.
Sometimes giving back is the greatest gift and one that
helps students understand basic needs better.
In several schools in which I worked, we would plan to give
personal hygiene and car products to the local women’s shelter or the homeless
shelter in the area.
Here is how we did it:
Each grade level would decide on an item to contribute. The grade would brainstorm some ways of
raising money so that each student would be able to contribute one of the
selected items. The teachers would ask
parents to contribute one of the selected items in the name of the child in the
grade if they were able to do so.
Families that could, contributed more than one item. Families that could not were covered by the
The items we collected were:
If we had additional grades in the building, the following
could be collected”
The teachers would compose a short note to the intended
recipients to be included in the package and would contribute boxes of Ziploc bags. I suspect that some of the disposable plastic
containers would work well, too.
When the items were collected, the older grades would help
sort the items into plastic zip closure bags.
We’d set it all up like an assembly line. Each student would take a plastic bag and
then put one of each item into the bag, zip it closed (often with the help of
an adult) and then drop it into a box.
We did a variation on this project for victims of a tornado
one year. Each grade made a Christmas
ornament – you know, the ones that are often made by elementary children, the
ones moms and grandparents cherish.
Those are often lost in a catastrophic event like a tornado. We made a package containing one of each kind
of ornament and, by contacting local churches, send a package to each family
who had lost the most. We received many
phone calls and letters from families who told us that the ornaments helped
them remember the ones their children had made and that had been lost.
When teaching at the university level, two of my students
spearheaded a project for a capstone class they were required to take. They contacted local organizations and
businesses and put together backpacks with various items in them for foster
children. Foster children may wind up
moving to a new home or environment at a moment’s notice and often are not able
to take much if anything along.
Has your school done anything like this? Share your story!
You’ve told THAT student to sit down 943 times this morning and you may just lose your mind if you have to tell him to sit down one more time! You already know that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is one definition for insanity – and THAT student has pushed you right up to the edge of sanity!
My godmother used to say, “Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to.” I always thought it was just a funny saying until I came to analyze my teaching strategies.
The majority of teachers in K-12 are female. Let’s face it: girls are raised differently than boys, and that means their language is different. No, I don’t mean men speak Martian and women speak Venusian as a popular book in the 80s would say. Both men and women speak English, or Spanish, or French, or whatever. But the way we use language is different.
There are many studies and articles that show that women tend to speak more “cooperatively” whereas men tend to use more commanding language. Both styles of language have their strengths and both have their weaknesses.
Weakness in this case has to do with how the listener hears what the other person is saying. It is not a condemnation of the way women speak or the way men speak. That more cooperative speaking style is very useful in some situations. A more commanding styles is useful in other situations. The reverse is also true: either style can be perceived very differently than the way the speaker means the listener to hear.
So why is this something to think about when we’re reading this because we are trying to find a way to keep our cool when THAT student it pushing our buttons? Well, we express what we want students to do using language. In fact, it is the only real tool we have in the classroom. Teachers explain, ask questions, and tell students what to do and when. How we use language, how we phrase a directive is often received by the listener in ways that we do not intend.
One of the things that females are often raised to do is to up a rising inflection at the end of our statements. In English, that rising inflection changes any statement into a question. .
Look at these sentences. If possible, read them aloud.
Time for lunch!
Time for lunch?
You probably read these with a bit different inflection. The way you said the ones with the question mark was a little bit different than the way you said the ones without. That difference is that probably you gave the questions a rising inflection.
Listeners respond differently when they are asked a question than when they are told something. Take the “Time for lunch” statement. If we give that a falling inflection, it means we are saying it is definitely time for lunch. If it is said with a rising inflection it means we are asking if it is time for lunch. We aren’t certain, and the response could be “Yes, it is time for lunch” or “No, it is not time for lunch.”
Really, whenever we ask a question, there are essentially two answers: yes. Or no.
Let’s take this back into the classroom. If we say “Sit down” with that rising inflection, we’ve just asked the student a question instead of giving him or her a directive. Because it is a question, the student can answer “yes” by sitting down, or s/he can answer “no” by continuing to stand up or walk around.
The problem is we want students to do what we’ve just told them to do. Making that directive into a question allows the student to choose to do it or to not do it.
Another way we have been conditioned to be polite is by ending directives with “okay?” It might sound like this: “Boys and girls, put your books away now, okay?”
We think we are being polite or asking if the listener understands the directive. What the listener hears is a question, and a question can be answered “yes” or “no”.
We don’t really want students to think of our directives as optional, as being something they can choose to do or choose not to do. What we really want is for students to do what they are told. And doing what the teacher tells them to do is one of the things with which THAT student has difficulty.
Some people might think, “If I stop saying okay, and if I stop using rising inflection, the students will think I’m being mean and rebel!” We don’t have to give directives in a mean tone. We can change the inflection and still be polite.
It is possible to make statements sound mean just as there is a way to make statements sound like questions. Let’s take a closer look at how we make statements sound different in different situations.
Try this experiment. You are going to say two words in some different ways. (Okay, you can say these in your head if you are reading this where others would see or hear you.) The two words you will say are “Now Aaron”.
The teacher is angry because the student hasn’t done what s/he was told to do, and she says, “Now, Aaron”.
The teacher is telling the students which one can line up right now, and he says, “Now, Aaron.”
The student has told the teacher a tall tale and the teacher doesn’t really believe what the student has said. The teacher says, “Now, Aaron . . .”
The student has told a joke and the teacher is laughing and says, “Now, Aaron.”
The teacher is introducing the student who will give the next speech during an assembly, and he says, “Now, Aaron.”
The teacher has just brought the class back from a break where students were supposed to have used the bathroom. The student walks up to the teacher and asks if he can use the bathroom right now. The teacher says, “Now, Aaron?”
The words we use (in English) are the same in each of the scenarios, but the sound of our voices saying those same two words is different. That was six different ways we use inflection in our voices to get our message across. It is likely someone could come up with other ways to say those two words that would give them even more shades of meaning.
In the classroom, we want students to do what we’ve told them to do, and barring any misunderstandings the student might have, we expect students to do what we are when we ask it.
Whoops! Ask? Remember, if we ask something we have to be prepared for a positive response or a negative response. So if we ask students to sit down (“Aaron, will you please sit down?”) the student could respond by sitting down – a positive response — or by remaining standing which would be a negative response.
If we were to use a polite, authoritative, but firm tone without the rising inflection at the end, then the student hears that they are supposed to do X. Period.
This means we are putting our voices into neutral. We are not using either the cooperative style or the commanding style. If we are in neutral, we are not asking students for their cooperation, nor are we trying to force it.
A bit more about the word “okay”: You may want to try recording yourself when teaching or ask a colleague to come in and observe you. Either way, what you want to check for is how often you use the word “okay”. In all seriousness, I’ve listened to many, many teachers who might say “okay?” 20 times in 5 minutes!
The next thing to think about in our use of language also has to do with how we ask students to do something.
Let’s remember THAT student doesn’t especially like teachers. S/he may have had a rocky relationship with all of his/her teachers since kindergarten. S/he may just not like you, especially if the two of you have butted heads already this school year. So what do you think might go on in his/her head if s/he hears the teacher say, “I want you to sit down now” or “I need you to sit down now” or “I would like you to sit down now”?
Phrasing directives in terms of “I want”, “I need”, or “I would like” could be considered a more cooperative style of giving a directive because the speaker is asking the listener to make a choice about whether or not to fulfill the speaker’s wants, needs, or likes.
Yes, there are those who say that “I statements” are the best way to phrase a statement, however that works best if the other person actually cares or is concerned with the speaker’s wants, needs, or feelings. They are much less effective when the listener does not care if the speaker has a positive outcome.
But, let’s face it, THAT student doesn’t really care what the teacher wants or needs. So it is worth the effort to change what we are saying to THAT student.
The same is true when we phrase things in terms of the student’s needs. An example of this would be the teacher saying, “Aaron, you need to sit down now.” If you think about it, does Aaron really think he needs to sit down? If he is up and about, the answer is probably not. It is likely that being up and out of his seat is what he thinks he needs right now.
The solution is to put our language in neutral. Try rephrasing these kinds of statements to:
Aaron, sit down.
The difference is subtle yet the rephrased comments carry a very different connotation.
Of course, it is also important to make sure how we say things is neutral. Saying “Sit down” with a rising inflection is not perceived well, and neither is saying it in an authoritarian way.
It is not always easy to change our language habits. You may want to create a reminder system for yourself. When I wanted to change something I was doing in the classroom, and I didn’t want the students to know or help me with the change, I would create a set of symbols that were designed to remind me of the change I wanted to make. I would cut them out and tape them in places where I would likely look regularly. For example, I would tape them to the lesson plan book, the student desk I used to prop up my copy of the textbook, by the door, etc. I would see those little symbols and it would remind me to make the change I was trying to make. In this care, these two signs would help me remember to not say “I” or “you” and to put my language in neutral.
Changing the way you use language will not change THAT student’s behavior instantly, however it is a step towards being able to work with THAT student calmly and in a way where THAT student is more likely to do what you really want him/her to do: be a productive member of the class.
You cringed just a little when you saw that name on your class lists. You’ve heard from last year’s teachers about THAT KID, and the news wasn’t good. You sigh, and think, “Okay, I will do my best and hope that over the summer THAT KID grew up a bit or learned to behave.”
The school year starts and you’ve prepared well. Things start out pretty well, but THAT KID has crossed the line a few times already. You give the consequences you’ve specified in your discipline plan, but THAT KID doesn’t seem to care and continues to push the limits. You’ve called home but the parents were hostile and defensive. You’ve sent THAT KID to the office, but that didn’t help. Your stress level increases. You start to wonder why THAT KID is never sick. You’ve done just about everything you can think of except deciding to move to France. The mere mention of that kid’s name makes you tense up.
What are you going to do?
That is what we are going to look at in this blog: Just what you can do to turn THAT KID around, or at least give you some peace and less stress.
THAT KID could be any kid, at any age, male or female, rich or poor, any race or ethnicity, any religion or creed, any level of intelligence. However, it is more likely that certain kids get a reputation for being difficult. We will look at that in the next post.
Let’s look at one of the reasons why THAT KID seems to push your buttons.
Have you ever considered buying a certain car (or other item)? You’ve given it some careful thought and you think you know what you want. Suddenly, you start seeing that particular kind of car almost everywhere – in the grocery parking lot, waiting for the light to change, going down the street past your house.
When we translate this into the classroom, what happens is this: You’ve heard X about THAT KID and your brain is subconsciously alerted to notice the things you’ve heard about THAT KID. Now, your brain does the same thing with the kids that have a reputation for being angelic. For example, if you’ve heard that Ellie is helpful and kind to others, when you see her whispering to another student, your brain thinks, “Yes, there it is. Ellie is helping that other student.” That’s great, but the opposite is also true. When you see THAT KID whispering to another student, your brain associates that behavior with the negative things you’ve heard and you think, “Oh, THAT KID! I wonder what he’s plotting now?”
Every teacher consciously believes that s/he gives every student an equal chance to succeed, however the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon contributes to a self-fulfilling prophesy, something that happens without our conscious effort. It works like this: you develop a particular idea about a student; you see the student do something and attribute that behavior to what you’ve heard about the kid; that confirms what you’ve been told. That confirmation means we look for the behavior all the more, and that means we act a bit differently towards that kid and s/he lives up or down to the expectations our behavior has communicated to him/her. What’s worse, the whole process is subconscious.
Let’s be very, very clear – we do not do this consciously. This is unconscious, and not done on purpose! Few if any teachers consciously think: I can’t wait to treat THAT KID differently than I do the rest of the class.
This information is all well and good, but what can you do right now, today, to start to relieve your stress?
Try this: make a list of good things about THAT KID. This isn’t always easy, especially if THAT KID has been a thorn in your side for a while. However, by consciously thinking, “I want to notice good things about THAT KID,” you start to break the cycle of the self-fulfilling prophesy. For example, you might start to eavesdrop when THAT KID whispers to another and find out THAT KID is just asking to borrow a pencil, or you may hear THAT KID is asking if the other student wants to borrow something.
It’s that simple: start to really look for good things about that kid. Yes, it may be difficult to do, but there are rewards that are almost immediate. First, it is much more pleasurable to look for positive things than it is to only notice negative things. Second, you are less stressed when you think about positives because when you do not notice mostly negative things your body does not react as if you are in a threatening situation. Third, you begin to chip away at that self-fulfilling prophesy which is the start of a turn-around for THAT KID.
Give it a try!
Next time we will look at how kids get a negative reputation. You may be surprised at some of the ways.